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原文：
Kannaduki no Miko - Analysis: Impetus behind the actions
PART 1
Alright, this is not the end of the show, there is an epilogue of life after the Orochi is eradicated from the world, but I will pause here a moment to comment on the major developments and revelations in the show. I have left off any extensive commentary since the night of the assault, because the last thing anyone wants while they are trying to find out what happens next is some idiot yammering away about their thoughts. Besides, as I mentioned before, many things can only be expounded on comprehensively on hindsight.
So here goes, let us start with the motivation behind Chikane’s sexual assault on Himeko the night she joined the Orochi. We learnt from Chikane’s deathbed disclosure to Himeko about her intention to make Himeko hate her enough to kill her in order to fulfil the last step of sealing the Orochi and rebuilding the world. She came to this decision the night of her utter desolation, the night she lost all hope of being with Himeko.
Three things led her to this conclusion, firstly the attempt by Miyako to turn her to darkness in the church made her realise her true desire and attraction for Himeko. Secondly, the knowledge of Himeko’s acceptance of Souma’s feelings, as supported by her witnessing their kiss and Himeko’s declaration that Souma is her perfect match. Lastly, the regaining of her past life memories, which made her realise two points, that a priestess has to die at the hands of the other, and that in her past life she killed Himeko.
To elaborate, Miyako first made her realise that no matter how much she tried to deceive herself and others, she would never be truly satisfied with anything less than a romantic relationship with Himeko. Then she discovered that Souma and Himeko had just hooked up and since she could no longer fool herself about being happy with mere friendship, the only honest thing to do was to try and break them up by revealing her feelings and pursuing Himeko in spite of her involvement with Souma.
Finally, the past memories of her killing Himeko for the sake of the world, killing not only an innocent but her one true love, regardless of the reason, was not something she could allow herself to forgive, even in a new lifetime. So the memories convinced her that even if she wanted to, she had no right to fight with Souma for Himeko’s affections. Since a priestess has to kill the other and she knew that she could not bring herself to take Himeko’s life again, it was inevitable for Chikane to conclude that she would be the one to die this time.
However, Himeko was so soft-hearted, self-effacing and meek that Chikane knew she would never willingly kill anyone, much less someone she considered her benefactor and friend. If Himeko ever realised that a priestess must kill the other, she would never be able to raise her hand against Chikane but would instead beg Chikane to kill her for the greater good, which was what probably happened in their past lives. The Lunar Priestess was likely always to be stronger and more aggressive than the Solar Priestess and thus deemed better able to carry the burden and pain of murder. So Himeko could never know about the ceremonial killing and Chikane would have to force her hand.
Everything that happened in the space of that one harrowing night made Chikane decide to make Himeko hate her enough in order to kill her. Chikane knew that she could be ruthless and unwavering in her actions to turn Himeko against her because of three factors. First, that the alternative to successfully carrying out her plan was Himeko’s death. Second, that she believed Himeko was happy with Souma and would continue to live a good life without her. Third, that if she was able to ruthlessly kill Himeko in a past life then she could definitely be ruthless enough to do whatever it takes to make Himeko kill her in this current life.
Chikane’s course of action to make Himeko hate her was carried out on that dreadful night when she sexually assaulted her. First she wore the robes of the Solar Priestess, wearing the robes of the usual sacrifical lamb in the ceremony is a symbolic gesture of her ultimate goal, to die in Himeko’s stead. It might also be because the robes themselves held power and wearing the robes of the Solar Priestess was an added precaution to ensure that Chikane would be the one to die.
Then Chikane had to find a way to strip Himeko of any gratitude towards her, as well as her sense of safety in her presence, which Himeko mentioned feeling more than once before. She also had to do something that not even someone as compassionate as Himeko could forgive and understand. By Himeko’s nudity and unresisting behaviour in the immediate aftermath of the assault, Chikane appeared to have really gone all the way and raped her. Which was an irredeemable act, no matter what reasons she had, and Chikane knew this.
In addition, Chikane finally declared her love for Himeko, but in the most heart-breaking way possible, right in the midst of her ravaging, at the height of Himeko’s terror. Chikane single-handedly turned her intense feelings and real desires into a perversion, something to be reviled and condemned. Chikane still had not forgotten Himeko’s violent rejection of her touch the first time she tried to style her hair and Himeko never explained her adversion to having her hair touched.
So Chikane had good reason to think that Himeko would be offended by Chikane’s true feelings. She made Himeko view her previous caring behaviour as nothing more than expressions of her lust. The unwavering tenderness on her face and in her voice was to show Himeko that the loving and gentle girl she knew was just a disguise used by the cruel and unscrupulous Chikane. That the kindness and compassion Chikane showed all the time was just a fa?ade.
But Chikane had to do more than make Himeko hate her, because the Sword God would never be revived if Chikane remained involved in the ritual. So she decided to also answer the call of the Orochi to convince everyone, especially Himeko, that she was truly the enemy and could not be counted on to participate in the ritual. Her actions that night also included taking away Himeko’s and the world’s sole source of protection at that time, Souma’s mech and his fighting ability, thus bringing to the fore the imperativeness of reviving the Sword God without Chikane.
Chikane tried to leave Souma out of the fight twice, once by taking his mech away and again by insisting on meeting Himeko alone for their final battle. She did not want to fight Souma, all she wanted was to get Himeko to confront her and kill her.
Ridiculous as it might seem for an entity as powerful as the Orochi to be tricked by Chikane, it was believable because Chikane really did go to the dark side (sorry about the Starwars reference). At the moment of her decision, she gave in to despair, to the hopelessness of any relationship with Himeko, to the abandoning of all she believed about fighting for life and happiness, Chikane really did identify with the darkness the Orochi stood for, she really did feel rage and pain at the injustice of the Sword God requiring a sacrifice to restore the world.
She took the most precious thing she had (her relationship with Himeko) and deliberately destroyed it beyond all repair, she consciously harmed the person she wanted to protect more than life itself. With her vicious actions that night, she gave up all she held dear, her pride (she could no longer claim purity of thought and intentions), her principles (she could no longer claim clarity of mind or purpose), her love (she could no longer expect to be fondly regarded by Himeko). She left herself wide open to scorn and contempt from both friends and foes alike and especially to derision from her beloved Himeko.
Her self-sacrifice and her hurting of the innocent Himeko, all for the sake of defeating the Orochi and sparing Himeko’s life, was a subscription to the ends justifying the means philosophy. Something so opposed and alien to Chikane’s normal strong-minded beliefs and values about overcoming adversitiy and rejoicing in all the world had to offer, that it was obvious she let her agony and sorrow consume her very being and become the reason for her future actions. She allowed her guilt at her past incarnation's murder, the hopelessness of any real relationship with Himeko and the inevitable destiny of her duty to save the world, dictate her subsequent self-sacrificing and cruel actions and plan.
Chikane sold out her ideals, feelings and principles in order to achieve her goal of saving the world and Himeko, the same way Reiko sold out her dreams and ambitions to attain commercial success, the same way Corona sold out her body to become a pop idol, the same way Tsubasa sold out his gentle nature and morality to protect Souma, the same way Miyako sold out her divine faith in God to human despair, the same way Girochi and Nekoko sold out any chance of regaining their lost innocence and childhood to vengence.
Chikane’s suffering and despair were very real, her betrayal of herself and all she stood for and believed in, was identical to the self-betrayal of the other Orochi acolytes and that was why the Orochi was convinced of her change of heart. However, what she managed to conceal was her mental fortitude in keeping her feelings and her intentions separate. She was able to simultaneously let loose her anguish and still retain her ultimate goal of defeating the Orochi.
PART 2
So Chikane raped Himeko, stole Souma’s mech, defeated the other Orochi acolytes and absorbed all the darkness of the Orochi. Then she received the Lunar Sword and knew that the Sword God was revived. She had to go back to the mansion and ascertain Himeko’s state of mind, because she figured that Himeko could have done it either because the rape left her hungry for revenge or because the revival was the last hope to save the world.
Given how well she understood Himeko, Chikane would suspect the latter reason and that Himeko would still be confused about her behaviour. Chikane, with her uncanny ability to know Himeko’s feelings and thoughts, knew that Himeko would be unwilling and unable to accept Chikane as evil, but the vivid memories of that night would not allow her to fully believe in her goodness either. She knew that Himeko would never be able to kill her as long as she vacillated between viewing Chikane as an angel or a devil.
So Chikane wanted to make it clear to Himeko that the tender, loving Chikane and the callous, cruel Chikane was one and the same. She went back to the mansion, dressed in her uniform (a reminder of their happier days together) rather than the red Solar robes (a reminder of that terrible night) and let her real concern for Himeko shine through.
She did everything the way she used to, was gentle and loving and carefree, she relived every happy moment she had with Himeko. She cooked for her, had dinner with her, bathed with her, brushed her hair, played the piano for her, chatted and laughed with her. Then she asked if Himeko was lonely without her, if Himeko was happy with her return, if Himeko still liked her.
This was the second time she asked Himeko if she liked her, the first time was just before her assault. This question brought with it a terrible foreboding, a precursor of some awful action Chikane would take if Himeko answered in the affirmative, which of course she did. Before she adopted offensive behaviour, Chikane wanted to see if Himeko still needed to be goaded into hatred. If Himeko already hated her then there would be no need to continue hurting her.
But unfortunately, Himeko was not so easily daunted and Chikane, with that same gentle and loving and carefree manner, unbuttoned her pajamas and slid the invitation card between her breasts (a crude reminder of her lewd and brutal actions that horrifying night) and told Himeko that she would kill her that night.
Chikane managed in one fell swoop to taint every sweet memory Himeko had of their time together. Nothing was a dream, the good times, the appalling times, everything was real. Chikane was equal parts the angel Himeko remembered and the devil Himeko was beginning to know. The kind and evil Chikanes came hand in hand, indistinguishable. The good and bad Chikanes were one and the same, inseparable. The invitation card, their birthday party, everything she used was from the past, nothing of their happy times together was spared.
This must have broken her heart. The desecration of all her precious memories with Himeko, every moment expecting Himeko to demand an explanation, with every additional moment together being one more fond memory she was going to ruthlessly crush. She had to make Himeko face reality, to get out of her wistful fantasy that things could return to how they used to be, that the nightmare of the assault could be forgotten and ignored. From the minute she set foot on this dark path, Chikane knew there was no turning back and she had to make Himeko realise that as well.
The dark journey that started that night of assault must have been unbearable for Chikane and Himeko kept surprising her with her implusive and honest words and deeds, making her journey that much harder and torturous.
Just before the assault, Chikane received a present that Himeko personally picked out for her, an unexpected gift that probably stunned her, she probably wanted to close her fingers around it and treasure it forever. But instead she forced herself to tilt her hand and watched as it dropped to the floor. She held her emotions firmly under control and refused to be shaken by the throwing away of the present and all it signified, and continued her malevolent actions.
When Chikane returned to the mansion, it was also one surprise from Himeko after another. She learnt that Himeko was cleaning her room in anticipation of her return. While Chikane did not truly expect Himeko to hate her yet, she thought there would be at least some recrimination, but Himeko displayed none at all, her happiness at her return was real and unblemished.
Then Himeko assured her that she did not open any drawers and Chikane says that Himeko should not worry about such things. Chikane must have been struck with the irony that she had violated much worse than Himeko’s privacy and here Himeko was worrying about protecting Chikane’s privacy. In addition, Chikane also knew that she would cease to exist very shortly and everything associated with her, like her room, would belong to someone else, keeping her possessions clean and tidy was meaningless.
When Chikane was left alone in her room, she finally closed her fingers over the sun and moon pendants like she wanted to the first time she saw them. Her expression did not change but her actions spoke louder than words, just once she wanted to hold on to the tangible proof of Himeko’s concern and affection for her.
Then Himeko entered the room with an unexpected request, to spend the night with her. Chikane’s shocked expression said it all, not only did Himeko not blame her for that night, she was not afraid to be in intimate quarters with her. Himeko still found comfort and safety in Chikane’s embrace.
In bed facing each other, Himeko finally cried, not in anguish but in joy that Chikane had returned to her. Oh, the look on Chikane’s face as she listened to Himeko’s confession that the pain and suffering did not matter because Chikane came back. Being together with Chikane was all she wanted. Chikane took Himeko in her arms and comforted her, as she always did whenever Himeko cried or was upset.
Oh Himeko, Himeko, if you had only said and done all those things before that fateful night, Chikane might have reached a different decision. Before witnessing the kiss and regaining her memories, Chikane would have given anything, done anything to hear those words, to have Himeko initiate a sleep over, to receive a gift from Himeko because she was worried about her. But after setting things in motion, with no hope of turning back, all of Himeko’s lovely words and deeds only intensified her torture.
Every single thing they did together in the past, with the exception of the revival ritual, was initiated by Chikane, the lunches in school, the photography sessions, living together, the piano recitals, her consoling efforts, etc. Chikane had painstakingly built their friendship moment by precious moment, memory by tender memory, all by herself. Himeko had never given any indication that spending time with Chikane was something that she would have willingly chosen or actively sought on her own, until it was too late.
After Chikane profaned all their memories together with her baleful invitation and promise to kill Himeko, she forced Himeko to confront her privately, thinking that Himeko must now have ascertained for herself that Chikane was really a devil who took on the guise of an angel, that having lost Himeko to Souma using fair means, she decided to take Himeko by force and joined the Orochi to defeat and destroy Souma, the world and anyone or anything keeping them apart.
But when Himeko confronted her, she demanded to know Chikane’s real motives, she still believed in the kind and wonderful Chikane. Himeko knew that Chikane would never willingly do such terrible deeds and thought that Chikane was possessed by the Orochi or had some valid reason to hate her. Chikane did not expect this, she just expected to fight and be killed. She tried everything to get Himeko to turn on her, sexual assault, physical attack and verbal abuse but all she managed to do was make Himeko think she was under a foreign influence or that she had good reason to hurt Himeko.
Chikane realised Himeko needed more convincing that she controlled her own actions and was cognisant of all the nasty things she did. She had to make Himeko understand that she knew exactly what she was doing, that she was not under the influence of the Orochi and her mind was clear and not overwhelmed by rage. So Chikane did the worst thing she thought she could do, she exposed her innermost thoughts and emotions and used them as tools to make Himeko hate her, believing that Himeko would be repulsed and disgusted by her genuine feelings.
The love in her eyes, in her voice, in her words, in her touch, was real and irrefutable. Chikane expressed all her true feelings and thoughts in a litany of Himeko’s personal attributes and the reasons she loved those attributes, all the while attacking Himeko with her sword. Chikane was waiting for Himeko to register the truth in her face and speech, and then to react with distaste and loathing and fight back. It was heart-rending that Chikane would view her own declaration of love as an insult to the recipient, such a great insult that the recipient would be disgusted enough to want to kill her.
Chikane then grabed her injured hand and squeezed till blood appeared. Then right in the midst of Himeko’s piercing cries of pain, Chikane told her again that she loved her, loved everything about her. This was actually kind of painful to watch, because Himeko was in such agony, both emotional and physical. But Chikane was very smart to do this, she really pulled out all the stops, she was using the same tactic as the night of her sexual assault. She was literally telling Himeko to associate her love with pain and suffering.
Then Chikane gave her a more complete argument by saying that Himeko was the only thing she needed and all she wanted was to be alone with her but the world and the people in it kept intruding. So she would destroy the world and they could finally be left alone to dance their deadly sword duel in peace.
She told Himeko to fight her because being priestesses of the sword, to get closer to each other meant that they had to hurt the other, as dictated by the nature of the sword. Swords either cut or get cut, to live by the sword and die by the sword. There is no other way for them to live, no other way for them to love. She promised to show her love by hurting Himeko even more and asked Himeko to hurt her back too.
Oh my, she had to find a reason for wanting to duel with swords but this reason, though plausible, was actually a little disturbing. If Chikane’s intention was to freak Himeko out, she probably succeeded.This time Himeko had every reason to believe her words.
But Himeko continued being only on the defensive and fared poorly in the fight. Chikane finally stopped her advance, at her wits end. She had already tried everything she could think of to make Himeko loath her and still Himeko refused to attack her. She resorted to asking Himeko what she must do to make her fight back, thinking that Himeko was just not interested in the duel. Poor Chikane, after everything she had done, Himeko’s lack of reaction made her think that Himeko did not care enough to fight her.
But Himeko sprung another surprise on her. She dropped her sword and declared that she could not see any of this so called enjoyment Chikane said she derived from fighting Himeko. She said that she would fight if Chikane really wanted to duel but her heart ached everytime she looked at Chikane and listened to her words. Himeko knew that the reason she felt the pain in her heart was because Chikane was lying.
She was sure that it was all her fault somehow and Chikane could do whatever she wanted with her, but Chikane had to tell the truth first. Himeko could not abide Chikane suffering because she had to lie to Himeko. Chikane was stunned by Himeko’s deduction and insight about her not being truthful, but she was even more astounded by Himeko’s unshakable faith in her.
However, Himeko said something that made Chikane realise she had gone about this whole thing the wrong way. All along Chikane thought that attacking Himeko was the best way to get her to fight, but when she heard Himeko blaming herself for all the terrible things Chikane had done, she knew that continuing the personal assault on Himeko was useless. Himeko had such a low self-esteem that when misfortune fell, she automatically thought of herself at fault.
Chikane looked at a hopeful Himeko and tenderly told her that she understood. Then she surrounded the world with baleful energy that would destroy it shortly. Chikane finally realised that the way to get Himeko to fight was not to terrorise her, but rather to threaten the people she cared about. Chikane must be beating herself silly over the head at this discovery, she could have spared Himeko all that hurt and pain, all she had to do to gain Himeko’s co-operation was to threaten Souma or Makoto or any innocent person.
At last, Himeko was roused to a fighting rage at the imminent death of all the people she loved and knew (Souma, Makoto, Kazuki, Yukihito, Otoha and Chikane). To think of Chikane as dead along with the others, when she was standing right there in front of her, Himeko must have finally seen the Chikane facing her as the devil incarnate, a different person from the Chikane she knew.
Himeko picked up her sword and hammered Chikane with blow after blow. Chikane encouraged Himeko to exert more strength, her voice and expression full of approval and pride, as if Himeko was a prize student who managed to learn a difficult lesson. She knew that Himeko had finally taken the bait and was out for her blood. But she needed to ensure that Himeko’s strokes were lethal and so she casually parried Himeko’s wild swings, gauging the accuracy of her strikes and the force behind the blows.
Alas, the best laid plans, Chikane tried a little aggressiveness to spur Himeko’s attacks, but her sword sliced off Himeko’s pink shell pendant. Chikane was distracted by the sudden reminder of Himeko waiting for her soul mate because her pink shell was one half of a double-sided seashell. And that moment of inattention was enough for Himeko to land a thrust that ended up stabbing Chikane right through her chest. Chikane was caught off guard but when she realised that the wound was fatal, she smiled peacefully, grateful that the ordeal was finally over and collasped as she rapidly weakened, feeling her lifeforce draining along with her blood.
Despite Himeko’s sobs and cries of her name, Chikane remained unresponsive, content to just die quietly, until she realised that Himeko was going to kill herself. The death of one priestess at the hands of the other will erase the Orochi from the world but it did not mean that the dead could be revived. So Himeko killing herself would defeat the purpose of Chikane’s betrayal.
Chikane wanted to remain as the devil to Himeko until the attempted suicide made her realise that Himeko did not know about the world being rebuilt upon her death. Chikane had to make Himeko believe that she did not fail to save the world or the people she cared about, and that her killing Chikane was a good thing, not something to be regretted.
She also realised that continuing to play the devil would only make Himeko blame herself for failing to turn Chikane back to the good side and Himeko would not be able to live with herself knowing that she murdered Chikane, even an evil Chikane. So she switched back to playing the angel, the saint that everyone in town thought Chikane was. Chikane decided to disclose her true plan in order to convince Himeko about the rightness of her death, that Himeko’s killing act was carried out with Chikane’s full approval and consent, that it was not murder but all part of Chikane’s plan.
Chikane revealed that she was the reason the Sword God could not be revived, that her deep seated guilt from killing the past Solar Priestess and hatred towards the Sword God prevented its revival. So she had to make herself the enemy in an effort to convince Himeko to perform the ritual alone and to force Himeko to kill her so that the ceremony of sealing the Orochi would be successfully completed. Chikane was playing up her supposed sainthood for all it was worth, a martyr’s death that resulted in the salvation of the world could not be argued against, could not be denied. Himeko would have no reason to regret Chikane’s death or blame herself for killing Chikane.
Himeko immediately grasped that Chikane’s existence would be wiped out of the world together with the Orochi, which was really incredibly astute of Himeko. But Chikane said that Himemiya Chikane never existed in the first place and the world would not miss her. This was truly tragic. Even as she was playing the role of the angelic noble saint for Himeko’s benefit, Chikane knew that the perfect, wonderful and virtuous Chikane the world knew and was in love with was not real. She felt that the true Chikane, flawed and wracked with inner turmoil, would be nothing but a disappointment to others and especially to Himeko.
Then she reassured Himeko that the new world would be a good place because Souma and Makoto, her boyfriend and her best friend, would be with her. And Chikane finally returned the rose hair clip to Himeko. But what was Chikane doing carrying the clip on her person all that time and especially into her last battle? Why did she not return it earlier, like on the night she decided on her dark course of action?
Well, it was not clearly explained but since the death blow from Himeko turned out to be an accident, Chikane was probably planning to keep the clip as a trump card, something that would truly incense Himeko into dealing the killing stroke, provoke her beyond endurance into striking her dead by revealing to Himeko at a crucial moment of their duel that she had slyly stolen Souma’s gift. But she was thrown by Himeko’s desperate resistance to fight her, as well as her realisation that personal attacks on Himeko were not going to work. And since Himeko eventually managed to stab her without any added incentive, she did not have a chance to return the clip until that moment.
Just as she was about to let death claim her, Himeko told her to wait and she involuntarily responded to the unfamiliar forcefulness from the soft-spoken Himeko. Chikane’s wary expression as she opened her eyes again in compliance with Himeko’s demand, revealed that Chikane was worried and puzzled because she did not factor into her plans this relentless questioning from Himeko. Chikane thought she had covered all her bases, she could not imagine what else Himeko would like to clarify or hold on to. She really believed that Himeko would quietly let her go once she knew that Chikane’s death was planned and for a good cause.
But Himeko shocked her once again by deducing that Chikane’s words of love, cruel as her accompanying actions were, might be true. Himeko was truly full of surprises that night, just by Chikane giving her the rose hair clip, Himeko realised that Chikane might really have feelings for her. How did she realise this? Because Himeko lost the clip long before Chikane assaulted and betrayed her. For Chikane to take the clip before she had a reason to turn against them meant that Chikane was truly jealous of Souma and his romantic pursuit of Himeko, and for Himeko to figure out all that was truly impressive.
So Himeko pleads to know if Chikane’s declaration of love for her was for real, or just an act. Chikane was dumbfounded by the request as she did not think that Himeko would care about her real feelings or even suspect them. Chikane disclosed her noble intentions but never said a word about how she truly felt about Himeko. Chikane being noble and self-sacrificing in order to save the world was something easily understood and explanation enough for what she did and said to both Himeko and Souma, Chikane did not expect Himeko to read anything more into her earlier actions and words.
Himeko was truly banking on her own instincts and at this juncture when she was about to lose Chikane forever, Himeko was not going to allow anything to stop her from getting what she wanted, not even Chikane’s tremendous will-power.
We see very clearly here that Chikane’s formidable discipline only faltered when she was faced with Himeko’s pleas and honesty. Chikane could never deny Himeko anything and would not begrudge her the truth since everything was already over. So despite her dread at facing Himeko’s reaction, which she figured could be anything ranging from contempt to pity, Chikane gave Himeko the truth she seeked, that her love for Himeko was real. She even apologised for burdening Himeko with her feelings (heartbreaking), thinking that Himeko could not possibly welcome them.
When Himeko said that she felt the same way too, Chikane was initially surprised at a reaction beyond her wildest expectations, but then she thought Himeko said it out of compassion, because Himeko would know that Chikane would appreciate having her feelings reciprocated before she died. Chikane was filled with gratitude and thanked her, because Himeko’s response meant she was not angered or disgusted by her love, that Chikane’s worst fears were not realised.
But Himeko persisted and gave her proof of the verity of her words by placing Chikane’s hand against her rapidly beating heart, saying that her heart raced faster in Chikane’s presence than it ever did in Souma’s. And that she finally realised the reason behind her tears after kissing Souma, it was because deep in her heart, the person she really loved was Chikane, not Souma, and accepting Souma’s kiss and thus his affection, was a betrayal of the deep abiding love between herself and Chikane. And her body, which knew her own emotions best, actively rebelled against the betrayal by flooding her with unexplained pain that manifested in uncontrollable tears.
However, Chikane would not accept that Himeko could feel the same way. She thought Himeko still saw her as an angel or saint, flawless and beyond reproach, and that if Chikane said she loved Himeko then her love must be pure and beautiful. So Chikane decided to brutally lay out her desires in terms as plain as possible, so that Himeko would not misunderstand her feelings.
She physically detached herself from Himeko’s comforting embrace as she prepared to expose herself as a fraud. Chikane was unable to look Himeko in the eye while confessing that she was not as courageous or truthful as she appeared to be, that her love for Himeko encompassed carnal desires, that she had done too many despicable and reprehensible things to harm and hurt Himeko. Each claim was cheerfully rebutted by Himeko immediately after Chikane said it.
But Chikane then forcefully said that she had no right to love or be loved because she killed Himeko in a past life and when no rebuttal was forthcoming from Himeko, Chikane took it to mean that Himeko agreed her sin was unforgivable and made herself face a suddenly silent Himeko, ready to press her case of non-redemption and brave Himeko’s judgement.
But Himeko was keeping quiet for an altogether different reason. While listening to Chikane’s litany of her own weaknesses that she thought would make Himeko disappointed in her, Himeko realised that all the so called terrible flaws Chikane listed were just normal human foibles. She realised the inhumanly high expectations the world placed on Chikane and the incredibly demanding and exacting standards Chikane had of herself, made any personal imperfection, no matter how slight or trivial, intolerable to Chikane.
Himeko also realised it was pointless to verbally refute Chikane’s claims, that the more she protested, the more reasons Chikane would produce to deny Himeko’s reciprocation of her feelings. So Himeko took matters into her own hands. She firmly held Chikane in her arms and kissed her boldly on her lips, silencing Chikane’s useless self-recriminations. Letting Chikane know without a doubt that Himeko was serious and fully aware of what her words of love meant. Chikane was flabbergasted, unable to resist or respond coherently.
And the newly perceptive Himeko said her most remarkable words yet, that Chikane, despite her intelligence, talent, strength and resolve, was only a teenager who had taken on a terrible task with noble intentions and was battling not only her enemies and friends, her own pain and sorrow, but also resisting the unfamiliar onset of puberty, her attraction towards someone she could not be with, as well as her innate burning desire to always fight for her right to life and happiness.
Himeko got it right when she said that Chikane had sacrificed everything, Chikane was one person who wanted to experience life to the fullest, to be all she could be, to push herself to the limits. To give up all the pleasures of the world was no small sacrifice for someone who valued life as much as Chikane did. Himeko saw the tremendous strain that Chikane, a mere sixteen year old, had to cope with and realised that Chikane’s remarkable strength and independence were hard won, obtained by the constant restraining of her emotions and desires.
Chikane looked on in amazement and wonder as Himeko poured out her sorrow at only now realising that Chikane had to deal with her anguish and confusion all alone, that she had no one to turn to for aid and advice and comfort, but instead was always the one consoling Himeko, listening to her troubles and helping her solve her problems.
Himeko begged Chikane to stop restraining herself because Chikane feared to upset or burden Himeko. She said that she would not be afraid, she would be happy and cheerful, she would be able to endure anything as long as she was together with Chikane. Himeko swore to work hard, to push herself to shine brighter and brighter in order to reflect well on Chikane. She then forcefully declared that she wanted to be Chikane’s Himeko.
Oh wow, what an awesome declaration, Himeko telling Chikane that she wanted to be hers and hers alone, that because she belonged to Chikane, she would always fight hard to bring Chikane glory, to make Chikane proud of her. Chikane of course was blown away and speechless, it was all too much to absorb, the kiss, the speech, the declaration. But Himeko kissed her one more time and wished her a happy birthday, giving Chikane the birthday gift she always hoped for but never truly expected to receive.
And that broke the floodbanks holding back her tumultuous and intense emotions. Chikane finally lowered her guard, broke down and wept unreservedly in Himeko’s arms. Oh, what heart rending sobs, this was the first time we saw Chikane openly showing her internal anguish. Always before she only displayed any pain and sorrow in private or out of others’ sight, like when she hugged Himeko’s uniform forlornly or when she kept her tears from flowing while holding Himeko on the night of the kiss with Souma.
But this open display of her emotions to Himeko, letting the sobs rack her body and allowing Himeko to embrace and comfort her, this was the first time Chikane had ever lost her composure in such a wildly abandoned way. Himeko had breached her barriers and Chikane finally found relief and internal peace.
I have to mention the fantastic voice acting in this scene. Kawasumi Ayako is the voice actress for Chikane and her cry of Himeko’s name, just that one word, but a word that managed to convey desperate pleading for understanding and help, a word that was filled with the sudden release of all her unspoken torment, a word that was also eloquent with relief and disbelief at the gift of Himeko’s acceptance.
Then Shitaya Noriko, the voice actress of Himeko, saying she truly loved Chikane and was not embarrassed or ashamed to say it to anyone or in any place. The unfamiliar conviction and assurance in her voice, coloured with joy and happiness but tempered with Himeko’s trademark tenderness. No wonder Chikane was finally convinced of Himeko’s love, anybody would be.
Kudos is due to Kawasumi Ayako and Shitaya Noriko for their superb voice acting, not just in this scene, but in the whole show. Actually all the voice acting in this anime was really good. Souma would not be half as credible or likable without Majima Junji’s earnest voice. All the other characters were very distinct and engaging and a big part of the credit goes to the incredibly convincing voice acting. A little trivia about this anime is that two of the supporting characters were voiced by the same person, can you identify which two?
But back to the scene, Himeko had yet to make her most startling exclamation. Just before Chikane was taken away by the powers that be, Himeko announced that she would not bow to any entity or event that tried to keep them apart. Why? Because her deep abiding love for Chikane was mutual. Such a wonderful sentiment, that no one could be allowed to tear asunder people sharing an intense love for each other, that nothing would be able to keep them apart.
Unreciprocated love is vulnerable, one or all parties involved having paltry or inadequate feelings towards another would not be sustainable, but a mutual love of equal intensity and devotion between all parties is all the reason and right needed to keep them together. So they must fight to be together and never give up because their mutual love is a certainty stronger than all the Gods, fates and eternities put together, and that certainty will guide and lead them to find each other as long as they hold on tightly to it.
We see that Chikane, as the Lunar Priestess, also learnt a similar lesson when she stated with serenity and surety, just before she was sealed in the Lunar Shrine, that she was happy because she got to see Himeko again. Chikane the Lunar Priestess was no longer railing against the fates or the cruel destiny of being a priestess of the Godless moon, as she did in her earlier incarnation. Nor did she still blame herself for the tragic way things panned out.
The guilt and anger she carried over from her previous lifetime was now gone. She learnt a lesson from Himeko’s words and deeds, that nothing mattered as long as they managed to be together again. All the suffering and loneliness, all the injustice and cruelty, all the mistakes and misunderstandings, nothing else mattered as long as they are able to see each other and be together again one day.
Himeko said the exact same thing to Chikane when she returned to the mansion and they were lying on Chikane’s bed. Chikane was concerned about her hand injury and Himeko said that the pain did not matter, that nothing mattered because Chikane had returned to her. The two priestesses have come to terms with their feelings, their responsibilites and their decision to fight for a full and satisfying life together. So let us get on with the rest of the story. |
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发表于 2005-9-4 12:43
发表于 2005-9-4 14:30
